8 December 2006 - Iraq Study Group

flunky: Phone call from the Iraq Study Group.
Bush: Ah, business of the empire. Put it on SPQR-phone, please.
phone: Hello? Is this the one person our report aims to convince?
Bush: Can you summarize?
phone: We have crafted a careful compromise between Washington’s political desire to have the problem disappear on its own and the realities of the facts on the ground. By following our recommendations in full, you can bring American troops home and still blame the following collapse on others. Militants worse than Saddam will probably not take over Iraq until after your tenure.
Bush: I’m not surrendering until we win!
phone: Also, we’re offering fiddle lessons. You’ll need them when the fire starts.