12 October 2003 - FBI 2

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reporter: We understand that criminal investigations must be secret. But doesn’t that leave the FBI open to charges of bias?
FBI: To outsiders it may seem that way, but our internal incentive system keeps us focused on the important cases. Bigger catches win more brownie points.
reporter: So of two crooks in an election, you usually pick on the crookeder one?
FBI: The one in power is generally the bigger criminal. More opportunity. Also, this gets a nice cycle going; we can investigate the other guy after he wins.
reporter: I see, you’re secret revolutionaries.

the Daily Whale || copyright 2003, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>