reporter: Of course, uh, you won’t do anything to turn the media
against you?
Osama bin Laden: The dead as the living are in Allah’s eye.
Allow me to explain the two possible outcomes of our little underground
action. First, with your help, the infidel may weary of the struggle.
reporter: I—I’ve devoted my life to breaking the morale of the
smug.
bin Laden: Good. Second, if this does not occur, then as
the cause is just, the faithful will arise to set things right. We will
break the world and make it new. Henchman!
reporter: I—please!
evil henchman: Firing squad again, sir?
bin Laden: Oh, do be creative.
the Daily Whale
copyright 2001, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott
<jay@satirist.org>