5 February 2000 - while you diet

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LOSE SLEEP—WHILE YOU DIET! Other weight-loss plans make outrageous promises. Only the new Miracle Wealth-Loss System really delivers! The System actuates powerful credit card suction and dynamic cellulite yoyo technology to take ultimate control over both your monotonic finances and your oscillating body mass index, all the while leaving you too grumpy and distracted to figure out the scam. You’ll never be the same again!

the Daily Whale || copyright 2000, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>