16 December 1999 - Bennie the Bacterium

Hi! I’m Bennie the Bacterium, and I’m asking for your support. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I... I have a deleterious mutation. It’s only one base pair of my DNA, but if my special needs are not met, I’ll fall behind in the race for nutrients. My strain might become extinct. That’s why I’m asking you to use antibacterial soap when you wash your hands. Then my triclosan resistance will no longer be a handicap, and I’ll have an equal opportunity to realize my lifelong dream of a cosmopolitan lifestyle.