7 November 1999 - tearful Bill Gates

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Anti Trust

“I’ve learned my lesson,” admitted a tearful Bill Gates. “The harsh light of Judge Jackson’s ruling has opened my eyes. Arrogance worked fine for crushing all opposition while building Microsoft’s dominant vantage, but over time—it hurts me to say this—over time it... created resentment. At this juncture we seek conciliation. Justice Department, please, accept my humblest apologies for ruthlessly annihilating competition. I would like to take this opportunity to propose the following generous settlement. Microsoft requires only, like any high tech company, the freedom to innovate. If Justice will drop all charges, Microsoft will reverse its plans to activate the hidden logic bomb in Windows and paralyze the government.”

the Daily Whale || copyright 1999, 2024 Jay J.P. Scott <jay@satirist.org>