5 December 1998 - Popo-pat-a-kettle

Mexican volcano Popo-pat-a-kettle will not erupt and devastate the countryside, the volcano announced today at a press conference. The mountain, whose name in the Aztec language means “you have to be a real ass to burn your hand on a hot kettle,” told reporters, “Come on home, everybody! I’m not going to blow up, honest. Not until I feel like it.”