the Daily Whale - 10 April 1991

There are times when you want to say nothing. One may be when a child asks, “Why do people fart?”

You might reply, “Farting is caused by splanchnic processes.” If the kid doesn’t think this is enough, you can continue, “Splanchnic means ‘of or relating to the viscera.’” Long before you have to come up with any actual information, the little brat will give up, perhaps even convinced that you’re an expert on the subject.

This method is also useful for scientists trying to publish technical papers.